What Hurts The Most (Kalijah)

*American Gothic*



I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house

That don’t bother me

I can take a few tears now and then and just let ‘em out

I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while

Even though goin’ on with you gone still upsets me

There are days every now and again I pretend I’m okay

But that’s not what gets me

What hurts the most was being so close

And havin’ so much to say

And watchin’ you walk away

And never knowin’ what could’ve been

And not seein’ that lovin’ you

Is what I was trying to do



        It was a beautiful day, as they stood in front of each other.

        “Is that what I am to you? A means of survival?” he accused.

        “No. Of course, you’re not a means of survival. You looked out for me, when I had no one. You’ve given me a second chance now, when no one else will.” She rested a hand on the side of his face. “I love you. Elijah.”

        He turned his head away.

        “You don’t believe me.”

        He looked at her. “I want to. It’s my disease. I just wanting to believe you, but how can I when, at every turn, you give me a reason to doubt you? I don’t know you. I don’t think I ever will.”

        He began to walk away but she caught up with him and put a hand on his arm, stopping him.

        When he looked at her hand on his arm and then her a couple times, she got the hint and let go.

        He looked at her.

        “Goodbye, Katherine.”

        She could only watch, as he walked away.



*American Gothic*



It’s hard to deal with the pain of losin’ you everywhere I go

But I’m doing it

It’s hard to force a smile, when I see our old friends and I’m alone

Still harder getting’ up, getting’ dressed, livin’ with this regret

But I know if I could do it over

I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart

That I left unspoken

What hurts the most was being so close

And havin’ so much to say

And watchin’ you walk away

And never knowin’ what could’ve been

And not seein’ that lovin’ you

Is what I was trying to do, oh



        That night, she found him and stood in front of him after thinking things through after he’d walked off that day.

        “What do you want?”

        “To tell you that you’re right. I’ve spent so much time running and lying just to survive, I—I’m starting to believe my own lies. I don’t even remember who I was when we first met. And I want to find out.”

        “How do I know this isn’t another lie? Katherine Pierce deceiving yet another man,” he inquired of her.

        “Because I meant what I said about my feelings for you. And I’d like to think that you feel something for me too.” She took the cure out of her purse and set it in his hand. “I need you to trust me. I want you to trust me. Just like I’m trusting you. You don’t owe me anything. I’m going to let you decide where we go from here.”

        He watched, as she walked away and then looked down at the cure in his hand.



*Mystic Falls- Mikaelson Mansion*



What hurts the most was being so close

And havin’ so much to say

And watchin’ you walk away

And never knowin’ what could’ve been

And not seein’ that lovin’ you

Is what I was trying to do

That’s what I was trying to do, ooh



        Elijah stood in front of her later that night. He hated what he was about to do, but he felt like he had to do it anyway. There were a lot of things he didn’t have to do that he usually felt he should do, no matter how much pain it caused. Even if it caused himself or her pain.

        He rested a hand on the side of her face.

        “It’s our turn, Elijah. Please,” she pleaded when he’d told her that he was leaving.

        “Katerina.” He kissed her on the forehead. “Goodbye, Katerina.”

        A moment later, he was gone.